Satisfaction of Self.

At times I wish to dream, my hopes disappeared like vapour in the sky. My visions were too blurred, like I'm stuck in a cloud of fog. It's getting dark, too dark to see. At times I ask myself "Mr Dreamer, What do you aspire to be?" I long for greatness but it's too high to reach, my indulgence is stronger than gravity; it's a weapon of mass destruction pointed at my future. My spirit is longing to be a weapon of mass destruction for God, but I'm lost in the pursuit of masculinity.

I got this cathode ray tube on my face planting worms of deception on my brain. I thought I was amazing! But this Trojan Horse is leaving my thoughts x_rated. I try too hard to detox but I insult my intelligence, only the work of a Holy Ghost Avast can clear such a destruction.

Believe me I'm not deaf, I can hear your voice loud and clear. I'm noble in thought, but I lack the will to act on your command. If this was the Great I Am He would've said "The spirit is willing but the flesh is not". At times I wish I could crab peace, my peace of mind was troubled by needles of despair stuck in  my cerebrum, like I'm losing my mind.

I looked at myself  in the mirror and myself told me "your actions speak so loud I can't hear what you're saying" I felt retarded. How can I fire my piece at the beast if I can't meditate on Philippians 4 vs 8? A soot of self inflection for final exit is building up on my cerebral matter day to day. What Happened to Me? I'm a fraud, a deceit with personality and a false advertisement with treachery camouflaged with a grin.

Now I see with a clear eyed view, if I'm gonna make it I need to put the fire off. I've been intoxicating myself inhaling the smoke in the satisfaction of self. The light in me is brighter than the darkness of my life, so I pray to the Father, The Son, and The Holy Ghost to watch over my life, so that I can conquer myself.